Bass Traps are harder to guage for those not in the know. That is why you discuss your room with Ethan or Glenn after showing them room drawings, running test tones, viewing the graphs and waterfall charts. Then the proper trapping can be done. Otherwise it is just spending money guessing on what to do. Just as the OP has done with purchasing a sub, sending back, purchasing another sub, sending it back, building his own sub, and on and on.
If the room is an issue, and most rooms are, then no matter what sub you put in there, the peaks and nulls will still be there. Peaks and nulls in a room are a direct relationship of the room modes - width, heigth, length along with speaker placement and seating position. Other items that affect are funiture, type of walls, type of ceilings, and on and on. New components will not correct room issues.
Moving the sub around the room is one of the best ways to get the best response you can. Once you get it to a place that sounds the best to you, you can then see the response graphs and waterfall graphs of this position. Move the sub around again, run graphs, etc.
I agree, the Behringer is another fine piece of equipment to help. Reducing peaks is something to be done, but raising nulls is not. This is where all the things with the room and the system is driving the response problems.
Top of the line subs will not solve a problem with a room, but a bad sub will sound bad even in a good room.
Dan